Oh well...

Just shoot me now, will you? No, seriously...

I've fallen off the wagon. Big time. Stupidly I didn't do anything about me falling off the wagon on time. Meaning I am basically back where I started. Well, not fully, I'm actually 10 kg (or 10,8 kg to be exact) short of that, but it could as well be the same.

So, what happened? Well, since I haven't updated the blog in forever and a day I should start from the beginning:

I stopped updating the blog somewhere in November/December of 2011. I was still going strong with the weight loss back then and continued to do so until mid March of 2012. My last weigh-in (as of March 14th) was at 79,4 kg, meaning I had lost almost 60 kg. Still doing the "shakes only" diet. By then my body started showing signs of "resignation" if we can call it that, so I decided to go off the shakes a couple of weeks early (original intention was beginning of April 2011). My body seemed to adjust well and I was finally able to excercise, something my body didn't allow on the lower than low calorie intake before. I went to the gym at least 3 times a week and was training towards the yearly 5k in May. So much easier to run with 60 kg less pressing on your feet, joints etc.

I completed the 5k on May 14th and was really pleased with myself. I didn't manage to run the full 5k and did some walking intervalls in between, but I finished and managed to do so in 35 minutes. Not too bad! I was feeling so good about myself!

One week later disaster struck. Big time. I was starting to feel uncomfortable on Monday night (May 21st) but since we were supposed to go away on a small trip with work I went to the office, bag in hand, on Tuesday morning but had to realise that I just wouldn't be able to go. I had the most excrutiating stomach pains so I ended up going home right about when my colleagues went away for the trip. I called the doctor's office to ask their advice and as they couldn't give me an appointment that day they referred me to the emergency room right away. I had to drive myself there since my husband was out of town for the day. After a few exams I was quickly admitted and had to stay in hospital until Sunday. I had a severe case of pancreatitis and was given morphine to help me deal with the pain. Unfortunately they never found out the reason for the pancreatitis which is a real bummer, but I guess that deep down I know it was my body's way of saying "enough is enough".

After my stay in hospital a few other things happened that made it really hard for me to focus on my continued weight loss, so during and after the summer the weight started to pile back on. One of those evil circles of unhappiness, food as a comforting mechanism and then of course more unhappiness followed.

I am now in a much better place mentally thanks to a few great people around me. It's time to do good things for myself again and to put my health first.

I'm therefor, as of today, back on the weight loss train, this time with a new programme I will write more about in a later post but with the same weight goal. This time I have about 63 kg to lose to reach my ultimate goal weight, starting at 127,8 kg. I want to use this blog as an incentive to keep going, hoping some of you will follow my journey and cheer me on. Let me know! I'd love to hear from you in the comment section below!